Go Beyond Face Value In Search For A Life Partner, By Okorie Samuel
When the issue of finding who to settle down with in marriage comes, we all have an idea of the kind of person we want to marry.
For some guys, when they want to get married, they will be looking for ladies that are beautiful, fair complexioned, naturally and heavily endorsed and endowed front and back etc., with little or no attention to other areas.
For some ladies too, when guys begin to come for them, they will be on the lookout for rich, tall, dark and handsome guys, members of beard gang association etc., without considering other areas.
Beauty, complexion, endowments, riches, handsomeness, height, etc., are the things I call face values, they hardly sustain marriage or relationship. Basing your marital choice or decision on these face values is like building a house on a sand, in the time of adversity it’ll fall with a great crash.
So, in search for a life partner, go beyond the face value. Go deeper. Try to find whom the person is inside inside. What are his constituents? What is her character made up of? What drives him? What are her orientations on issues of life? Does he fear God? Does he regard and respect constituted authorities? What is his vision in life? What is she aspiring for? Who you? Who is she?
Listen to this, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight(1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV)
In other words, the choice of who you marry should not be based on face values(beauty, handsomeness, riches, popularity, fame, etc), but on “inner self”(that is, whom the person is inwardly and inside inside). That’s what should inform your marital choice and decision because that’s what sustains marriage.
Am I now saying that we should go marry one Sister Ekeita or one Brother Donatus from somewhere? Not at all. Even in the scripture above, the Bible didn’t ask the women to stop plaiting hair, wearing jewelry or fine clothes but to focus more on beautifying their “inner self” because that’s where the value is. It’s a matter of priority, importance and durability.
Fine face, fine body, fine cloth, fine jewelry, money etc., may pass away but not “inner self”. They don’t sustain relationships or marriage. As a matter of fact, we have many that are beautiful, handsome, wealthy, famous, popular, endowed and endorsed front and back yet with a broken marriage. Many of them have married many times yet it’s not working.
Go for what will last and survive the test of time. Go beyond face value in search for a life partner. If “inner self” is valuable and of great worth to God, my brothers and sisters, you better value what God values.
You shall not fail in marriage!
Thanks for reading!
..Samuel Okorie is Youth Pastor, Motivational and Inspirational Writer, Relationship and Marriage Counselor from Nigeria.